2020 has been the best year of my life. I’m sad to see the end approaching and to see so many people complaining about it and focusing on the struggles and the loss. I don’t want to mislead anyone. I wasn’t immune to the bad things that have transpired this year. I shared the heartache of some major loss with my closest loved ones, but the togetherness that was forced upon us made it a little easier to face those experiences that would have come to pass no matter what we were going through in the world.
I was blessed to have my daughter and her husband move into the tiny house in our backyard in November 2019 so they could save money to buy their own house. When the lockdown was declared, we were all quarantined together, except for that first month when my husband was stuck in Peru with no way to leave and no idea when the situation would change. Tirzah and Bryan were disappointed when the house hunting experience proved more difficult than expected and extended their short stay to what is now a whole year, but being forced to take more time led them to decide to have a house built, something they had never considered before and now are very excited to see come to fruition. But their extended stay, I believe, has been a blessing to us all as we have had time to really get to know our new family member, and for him to get to know us, and for him to truly feel embedded in our family. Before they decided to move in, I had told Bryan I wanted him to feel as comfortable in our home as Tirzah does, and I think he does now.
So that whole Peru thing was a bit stressful, mostly for Fermin. I felt comfortable and at peace the entire time, probably because I knew before he left that it was going to happen. When he left, he said, “I’ll see you in two weeks,” and I replied, “Or a month.” The Spirit told me that things were going to get serious and travel was going to be restricted. That was on March 11th. After I left him at the airport, I heard that flights from certain countries were being banned in the U.S. I picked up my phone to call and tell him not to go, but I saw the time and knew his flight had left about 20 minutes earlier. A few days later, he called to tell me Peru had stopped all travel and declared a lockdown. Just a couple of days after that, we were all told to stay home. He came home exactly a month after he left. But just because he was home didn’t mean we were no longer concerned with the situation in Peru. Most of his family lives there. That country was one of the worst hit for a long time, and his family suffered great loss with everyone else. I think a dozen of his family members have died now from COVID-19. His mother died after a three-week stay in the hospital when no one was able to see or talk to her. So even being stuck in Peru for a month was a great blessing for Fermin. He had one last month with his mother. People die all the time. The true tragedy of this time is that we are putting people away to die alone.
I read an article this morning about 2020 actually being four years. The writer divided the year into four periods: the death of an athlete and impeachment, the lockdown, the protests and violence, and the election. Well, okay, if you want to focus on the negative, I guess that’s a fair and disappointing assessment. I don’t want to comment on his choices or commentary. I want to share my own four years of 2020.
The first year for me was fun, family and fulfilled anticipation. In 2019, I was more excited for what was coming in 2020 than I was for Christmas, first time that ever happened in my 59 years on earth. In January, Fermin and I went on what could turn out to be our last cruise. In March, my sister and her family came to visit. They were visiting when the lockdown was announced. The timing on both of those events was very fortuitious. My greatest anticipation was for what the President of our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, had said would be an unforgettable and unique general conference in April. I was not disappointed. I loved the messages of that conference, just as I do those of every conference we have, which are held every year in April and October. (The October conference was even more enjoyable for me, because by that time, it was nice to have things go back to the old normal, which meant watching church on TV for two days, and the messages really spoke to me about what we’re going through and what is to come in the future.)
The second 2020 for me was vacation, relaxation and contemplation. I spent months just relaxing on my deck, in the hot tub, and in my personal backyard park. For entertainment, I watched movies with the family in our garage that was converted into a home theater a few years back. Fermin has turned our home into a private resort for me. He knows what makes me happy and has provided exactly what I need to ward off anxiety and depression, which come so easily for me. I haven’t had to deal with those very much this year, maybe less than ever. Not having obligations to go places and see people meant no anxiety. Being able to stay home and not participate in activities of any kind without feeling guilty was like a gift from heaven. I use all this time at home to do what I enjoy, which is read, listen to music, study the gospel and ponder and pray about what I’m learning.
My third 2020 was football, BYU and winning! Talk about bringing back the old normal. Watching football in the fall is my favorite thing to do every year. BYU not only won all but one game, but they won big in almost every game. It reminded me of when I first got hooked, back to when I had my season tickets to go watch Steve Young as the quarterback, back to when I heard a commentator say of the spectators who were not looking very excited, “They look like they’re used to winning.” We were used to winning. It was the normal for us Cougar fans. This year felt like old times.
My fourth 2020 of course is Christmas. Focusing on this holiday season puts my focus on what is most important in life. I work to remind myself that no matter how much I love the beautiful decorations, the music, the movies, and the presents, gifting more than receiving, the most important thing is the gift Heavenly Father gave to all of us, Jesus Christ, and the gifts that Christ continues to give us. I try to keep that foremost in my mind all year, but in the last part of each year, I find it’s just about the only thing in my mind, staying just behind any other thoughts I might be having.
I feel empathy for all those who have suffered this year, who have faced loss of any kind, who have struggled financially and may continue to do so. I pray for the return of all that everyone is missing. I pray for peace and hope for those who are lost in despair. And I pray for me to have the strength to endure all those things that stress me out when we return to normal. But I cannot join in the negativity that is about to show up on Facebook as everyone starts to talk about what a horrible year it’s been and how they hope 2021 will be better. I love, love, love what has happened to me this year. I’m a much better person, a much more relaxed person, and hopefully a more loving and understanding person. I pray that many people will be able to see this year as I do.
2020 — what an experience. What a ride. What a unique time to be alive.
Well said. It was a good year for us too.
ReplyDelete